sehnsucht

"Are not all lifelong friendships born at the moment when at last you meet another human being who has some inkling (but faint and uncertain even in the best) of that something which you were born desiring, and which, beneath the flux of other desires and in all the momentary silences between the louder passions, night and day, year after year, from childhood to old age, you are looking for, watching for, listening for? You have never had it. All the things that have ever deeply possessed your soul have been but hints of it—tantalizing glimpses, promises never quite fulfilled, echoes that died away just as they caught your ear. But if it should really become manifest—if there ever came an echo that did not die away but swelled into the sound itself—you would know it. Beyond all possibility of doubt you would say "Here at last is the thing I was made for." We cannot tell each other about it. It is the secret signature of each soul, the incommunicable and unappeasable want, the thing we desired before we met our wives or made our friends or chose our work, and which we shall still desire on our deathbeds, when the mind no longer knows wife or friend or work. While we are, this is. If we lose this, we lose all." - C.S. LEWIS

kind of amazing

Things continue to be challenging around here. It hasn't been fun dealing with my recent health problem but I remind myself (often) to be grateful that I'm not getting worse. And I have my distractions. It's good to keep one's mind off the yucky stuff. So, I think about food. And take photos of food. It's pretty much all about food.

Once upon a time I worked at an ad agency in the Pearl District (it was the best of times, it was the worst of times) and just a few blocks from that agency is heaven within four walls: Pearl Bakery. At the end of one lovely summer, the Pearl Bakery made an almond plum cake and it remains, to this day, one of the best food memories of my life. Fast forward to this summer and our tiny little satsuma plum tree produced fifty plums (only had five last year!) and I became determined to use our plums to recreate that cake. I'm not particularly adept at baking but I have to be honest – it turned out pretty amazing. :)

work

"The best cure for melancholy is industry - and though the winds blew for days, never ending, and the gulls never ceased their cries, we drew strength from the rhythm of our labors." - The Weight of Water

caroline hwang

Very intrigued by illustrations by Caroline Hwang. These two images of Caroline's perfectly illustrate how my summer is going so far. Let's just say, it's been rough.

caroline-hwang.blogspot.com
carolinehwangillustration.com

a bit obsessed

This might end up being a long post without a clear point but I know it will have something to do with obsession and longing and the need to constantly seek out beautiful ideas, music, lyrics and images. Whew. Alright...

The obsession part: I've recently become consumed by everything relating to the band EELS. I'm reading and am almost finished with the book, Things The Grandchildren Should Know by Mark Oliver Everett (E, the EELS frontman). I don't pretend to know a lot about E but I think I might love him. There's just something about a man with a guitar who tells it straight and writes perfect lyrics: "I just can't take how very much, god damn, I miss that girl." The new EELS album, Tomorrow Morning, comes out this August!!!

The longing part: I would love to shoot amazing photo portraits someday. First, I'll need a much nicer camera. Then I'll need to get off my lazy butt and do something about it. Which brings me to the image above of E, one of many portraits by the talented Autumn de Wilde. Lucky girl. She just happens to have photographed a few of my favorite artists: EELS, Built to Spill, Elliot Smith (if she would just add Modest Mouse, then the universe would be perfect).

( image: www.autumndewilde.com )